Why don’t men like talking about our Mental Health?

There are numerous reasons why many of us don’t like talking about our mental health. Upbringing and cultural heritage. Peer pressure, the persistent calls to "Man up," "Tough it out" and a general unspoken understanding that "Big boys don't cry." Then there are outside factors like the way mental health is portrayed in the media. All of these contribute to creating a stigma. It is that stigma surrounding Mental health and fear of discrimination that often makes it hard for us to be open about our mental health.

At the end of the day, we are all different and there might be any number of reasons why people do not want to talk about these things. However, the associated stigma and fear of being judged is, I believe, the thing that most often prevents people from voicing their concerns and seeking help.

Poor mental illness affects everyone, Men and Women. But here is a sobering thought. In 2017 75% of UK suicides were by men.

So why might that be? Well, I have had suicide intervention training and one of the first things that I learned was that most people who contemplate taking their own life DON’T WANT TO DIE.

They do not want to die. They just want this terrible thing, this horrible situation, this desperate desolation to end. And, because they cannot see any way that is it ever going to end, they figure that ending their own life is the only way forward. So, we that in mind, if you can just get someone talking that is the first step. But it is often the hardest.

Some men believe they will be shunned and alienated by their peers for having a mental health condition, so they remain silent, denying themselves the support and treatment available. Some men view poor mental health as a weakness. And, whilst it would be wrong to stereotype men. It is probably also true to say that many men are also wired to believe that they should not show emotion.

I do sometimes wonder if that Is true or are attitudes changing? Is it a generational thing and maybe younger men these days do find it easier to talk about their feelings? But to some degree it is understandable. I mean, it is hard enough to experience poor mental health, without having to face the fear of judgment, shame, and isolation that might come about from discussing it. 

Still, 75% of UK suicides by men in 2017 is still a shocking statistic.